Sometimes circumstances beyond our control force us to make choices that we never thought we would have to make. As a parent, I was no stranger to making difficult choices on behalf of my family. Candidly, I believed that I was doing a pretty good job as a parent. However, several months after I learned that Greg Jr. was gay I found myself paralyzed by a choice I never thought I would have to make. I was afraid that I would have to choose between loving God or loving my gay son. At this point you may be asking yourself, “Why in the world would she feel she needed to choose between them?”
Up to this point in my life I had only heard limited messages that dealt with homosexuality (primarily from famous Christian radio personalities) that said I should not even associate with them. Their message sounded like it was “Us against them”. They shared stories like that of Sodom and Gomorrah and spoke about the abomination that gay people represented. Those messages scared me to my core, now that I knew I had a gay son! Was I to stop associating with my son? Never to share a meal with him, hug him, wish him happy birthday, or have any influence in his life? This broke my heart! That led me on an exhaustive search.
I learned that abomination is mentioned *151 times in the bible to describe people other than homosexuals that are:
In the book of Matthew 22:36-40 the apostle Matthew recorded a conversation between some of the towns leaders and Jesus where they were testing him. One of them, an expert in the law asked “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?” Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and Prophets hang on these two commandments." (At this point in history the Jews tried to keep over 630 laws)
There my answer was. I was not only free to love my child and my God, but Jesus commands that I do. Oh! how relieved I was! So grateful that God showed me this teaching in his word. I am so glad the text didn’t say to love your neighbor except for your gay son!
As my husband Greg likes to say, “It’s as though there is a 100-question exam. Get these 2 things right and you pass the exam. Get the other 98 right, but miss these two and you fail.
I am confident that you have had to ask yourself difficult questions that have challenged your faith; ones that have challenged you in ways that you never thought possible. So, what do you do? Where do you go? Trusted friends, family, pastors, counselors? All great choices, but who knows you may find your answer as you lean into God studying his word, just like I did.
Think about it
Do you find yourself asking the same question I did? “Can I love both God and my LGBTQ child? Even if you don’t have a LGBTQ child, do you find yourself asking that question about LGBTQ people in your life? Remember Matthew 22:36-40. Study it, ponder it, search it out with your whole heart. I hope you find the freedom that I have found to love God and the LGBTQ people in your life.
Can you imagine what our world would be like if we chose to love our neighbors (gay or straight) the way God commands us to?
I can only imagine…